CATCH A GLIMPSE

Nicolai gatherings are currently held every other week. They take place somewhere centrally located in Phoenix to make it convenient for people. The location can change weekly and so it's important to refer to the Meetup site for more information. Sometimes our gatherings are hosted in a coffee shop, other times a community center, ballroom of a hotel, or lobby. It all depends on how many RSVP and availability. But we make an effort to provide a safe and convenient place for everyone. Snacks may be provided, but it's best to plan on eating before coming. We do not serve alcohol at our gatherings in support of any AA members.

Our gathering's agenda is fairly simple. All of this takes place in 2 hours or less.

1. Charter
2. Lesson / Discussion
3. Socialize

Charter

We start by reading through our Charter, which includes Nicolai's Purpose, 3 Foundations and 2 Requests. This would serve as a reminder for why we meet and what we can expect from our time together.

Lesson / Discussion

After this we have a preplanned topic to discuss or maybe a guest speaker to speak further about a topic that we might have that are in line with our Values. Such topics might include (not limited to)

• how to date with success
• types of boundaries
• levels of friendship
• addictions in our lives
• challenges of living honestly
• types of relationships
• behaviors as singles that carry into partnerships
• co-dependent behavior
• difference between shame and convictions
• how religion takes part in our lives
• exploring truth
• etc.

The point of all this is to stimulate discussion and foster exploration about these topics. Perhaps people could give testimonies about their experience with these situations, or maybe breaking up into discussion groups would be more appropriate. 

Socialize

We always allow room at the end of our gatherings to just socialize, whether that's 5 minutes or an hour. Our group moderators will stay as long as needed (for a reasonable time) to allow natural connections and discussions to take place. If there are refreshments, they'd usually be served at this time.

Sometimes the activity will carry over into the social hour afterward. There's not strict format to how this is carried out, just as long as it fosters our vision.

Rules And Requests

• Must be at least 18 years old
• No nail clipping
• Cell phones off
• No sleeping
• No footsie under the table
• No name calling
• No "smelt it, dealt it"
• None shall pass
• No bad Sarah Palin impersonations
• No having fun
• No eye rolling

But seriously... as written in our Charter, we ask our Comrades to abide by these simple requests when we meet.

1. We agree not to flirt while we meet. Our gatherings are not constructed to be a dating service. Although we encourage dating and all the flirting that goes along with it, we agree to take our flirting elsewhere. If you are single and meet someone else that’s single at an Nicolai gathering that catches your interest, pursue a get together outside of the walls of our gathering. We want this group to be a place to foster heartfelt and intellectual connections, and be a safe harbor for couples to come without being subjected to advances on either member. Let’s agree to keep the flirting elsewhere.
    
2. We agree never to confront anyone at our gatherings on their behavior.  None of us are perfect. During our pursuit of bettering our lives we will slip and make mistakes. It’s inevitable. But this group’s purpose is not to hold anyone to these principles, only encourage and give guidance and education on what these principles mean. If someone wants accountability they can find that offline with a friend, counselor or church. If a member of Nicolai feels a concern to address someone else’s actions or behaviors it should be outside of the walls of Nicolai. And the results of that conversation is that member’s responsibility. This also extends to mean we agree not to mistake gatherings as confessionals. This could make some people very uncomfortable and appear boundary-less.